My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
operation harelip BJ is a go
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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