what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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