lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
