the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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