GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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