my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
