So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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