i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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