i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
