so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Randomize
