he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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