I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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