It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Randomize
