so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize