the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
