I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
