She announced her abortion via fbk
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
