Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
