Sacagawea was the original milf.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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