just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
