Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
