Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
