even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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