Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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