God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
