2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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