he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
