spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I have post one night stand depression
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
