2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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