that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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