Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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