p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
