Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
accomplished twins. life is a go
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
