You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
