Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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