I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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