she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
