I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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