Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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