i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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