if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
