Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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