I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
