i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
