I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize