Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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