my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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