you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
