Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
