Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize