There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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