I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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