Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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